Wednesday, September 24, 2008

Babi..

Somewhere in 1991 or 92.. I guess, I was in third standard. Some body told me that the year of 2000 will be the last year for all of us who is on the earth.. I was terrified and asked my father. He told me coolly "we will see what happens". Along with that he fed me some sort of philosophical inputs like.. every body will die... (I don't remember exactly)

Anyways.. by that time, I was aware of the fact that human can't live more than 100. I spent many lonely afternoons mostly thinking about some things related to this.. (loosely though)

My problem was not exactly the fear about death(?).. It was mostly to resolve my confusion about understanding non-existence.. Now, after this.. 24 years, my confusion is still the same but my approach changed. Now, it makes less sense to think about non-existence as the importance of existence is much more confusing.. 

It is not that I wanted to think about the same now. But It gives some insight in to the way I react. An unknown problem, terrifies most at first. But as you start living with it, either you will find a solution or adapt yourself to deal with it. 

One more aspect of this is, your brain tells you there is something that is going to change. but you fail to feel it as you have never experienced what it would be. 

Anyways.. I know it is too silly to talk about thinking in third standard. But today I was going through an old dairy, 2-3 years back and saw some totally unrelated lines about a single topic again and again. In that process, I started thinking back about my childhood days.. this came to mind :)

PS: Actually I thought of telling some other.. but couldn't find a way to put it here. By the way, Babi is the name with which my parents call me. 

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